"Oh God, I'm going to be forty soon."
"Girl, you still have four years."
Two friends looking at their "selfie"...
"My nose looks big. I should have been Italian."
"I really want a cigarette, but I don't want to get wrinkles on my face."
"Do e-cigarettes cause wrinkles?"
When a wedding party came in, I knew that was my cue to head out. But not before one of the groomsmen pushed his way to the bar proudly announcing he was going to take care of his friends,
"Five Fireball shots, please."
Then after 3 of the five are poured...
"Wait, how much are they?"
Seriously, if you have to ask...